🛑🍕💜 BREAKING: LOCAL HUMAN NEEDED. MUST HAVE A HEART. BRAIN ALSO RECOMMENDED. SENSE OF HUMOR? EXTREMELY ENCOURAGED. 💜🍕🛑
New Haven, Connecticut… we have a job opening, and frankly, the imaginary committee of raccoons in charge of this announcement is getting impatient. 🦝📋
They've reviewed the applications.
They've eaten the paperwork.
They've unanimously decided: WE NEED YOU. 😭😂
💜🎉 NOW HIRING: BEHAVIOR TECHNICIAN / ABA PARA! 🎉💜
📍 NEW HAVEN, CT
💰 $25–$30 PER HOUR!
🧩 HELP A CHILD GROW WHILE DOING WORK THAT ACTUALLY MATTERS!
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🧪 THE VERY UNOFFICIAL HUMAN VIBE CHECK
Please continue only if you can survive the following highly scientific questions:
🧦 Can you remain calm when things don't go according to plan?
🎨 Can you make an ordinary activity fun without requiring a Broadway production budget?
🏆 Can you celebrate someone's progress like they just invented sliced bread?
🦆 Can you be silly without losing sight of your responsibilities?
💜 Do you genuinely care about helping children learn new skills and build confidence?
If you answered yes…
CONGRATULATIONS. THE RACCOONS HAVE APPROVED YOUR EXISTENCE. 🦝✅
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🎮 YOUR NEW JOB: SIDE QUESTS WITH A PURPOSE!
You'll work one-on-one with a child, helping them develop skills, build confidence, and learn through engaging activities.
Your mission may involve:
🧩 Turning everyday moments into learning opportunities.
🎲 Playing games while supporting meaningful goals.
🎨 Getting creative and finding fun ways to engage.
🌟 Celebrating progress, even when it's a small step.
💜 Supporting autistic children as they learn and thrive.
Think less staring at a spreadsheet until your soul leaves your body and more using patience, creativity, and encouragement to make someone's day better.
THIS ISN'T JUST PLAYTIME. IT'S PLAYTIME WITH A PURPOSE. 🥹💜
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💸 LET'S TALK ABOUT THE PART YOUR BANK ACCOUNT ACTUALLY READ.
💰 $25–$30 PER HOUR!
Your checking account just sat up.
Your savings account opened one eye.
Your coffee budget has requested an emergency meeting. ☕📈
⏰ LOOKING FOR PART-TIME WORK?
Ask about available scheduling options that may fit around school or other responsibilities.
🎓 BUILD YOUR EXPERIENCE!
Interested in psychology, education, special education, or speech therapy? This could be a great opportunity to gain hands-on experience working with children.
🤝 NEW TO ABA?
Don't panic. Nobody is expecting you to arrive carrying a briefcase full of magical behavior knowledge.
RBT CERTIFICATION IS NOT REQUIRED!
We're looking for someone caring, dependable, patient, and willing to learn.
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🦸 THE REQUIREMENTS: HUMAN EDITION
✅ You care about people.
✅ You can be patient when learning takes time.
✅ You show up and take your responsibilities seriously.
✅ You bring positive energy and a willingness to engage.
✅ You're ready to learn and accept guidance.
✅ You want your work to mean something.
🚨 BONUS POINTS IF YOU CAN MAKE SOMEONE LAUGH WITHOUT INHALING A CRAYON.
Please do not actually inhale crayons. HR is begging you. 😭🖍️
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📣 NEW HAVEN, YOUR PLOT TWIST IS HERE.
A job that pays $25–$30/hour.
An opportunity to develop valuable skills.
A chance to help a child learn, grow, and reach meaningful goals.
And absolutely no requirement to be a perfectly polished corporate robot. 🤖❌
💜 NOW HIRING: BEHAVIOR TECHNICIAN / ABA PARA
📍 New Haven, Connecticut
💸 $25–$30 per hour
🎓 RBT certification not required
📞 INTERESTED? SEND US A MESSAGE OR GIVE US A CALL!
Come join a team where patience matters, progress deserves celebrating, and the little things can make a BIG difference.
🦝 P.S. The raccoons have left the building. They said if you don't apply, they're taking your spot.
They're not qualified, but they're very confident. 😂💜