🚨🚨🚨 BREAKING NEWS: A 5-YEAR-OLD IN WEST BABYLON HAS MORE ENERGY THAN THE ENTIRE CON EDISON POWER GRID!!! ⚡💀🔥
🏃♂️💨 WANTED: ONE SLIGHTLY UNHINGED, EXTREMELY ENERGETIC BEHAVIOR TECHNICIAN (BT/RBT) WHO CAN KEEP UP WITH A HUMAN TORNADO!!! 🌪️🤣
📍 LOCATION: West Babylon, NY
👦 CLIENT: 5-year-old boy
⚡ ENERGY LEVEL: 7,000% — BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED BECAUSE HE DOESN'T NEED THEM.
🏠 SETTING: In-Home ABA Therapy
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🚨 ATTENTION, CAFFEINATED HUMANS, FORMER CAMP COUNSELORS, AND PEOPLE WHO CONSIDER SITTING STILL A PERSONAL INSULT!!! 🚨
WE HAVE AN EMERGENCY. 💀
Somewhere in West Babylon lives a 5-year-old boy who apparently woke up one morning and decided...
"GRAVITY IS OPTIONAL. WALKING IS FOR BEGINNERS. I AM SPEED." 🏃♂️💨
Scientists are confused.
NASA has requested his energy source.
The Energizer Bunny has officially submitted his resignation. 🐰🔋
And the Flash?
THE FLASH JUST ASKED FOR A WATER BREAK. 😭⚡
THIS LITTLE LEGEND DOES NOT HAVE AN OFF BUTTON.
HE HAS TWO SETTINGS:
🔥 GO
🚀 GO FASTER
AND WE NEED SOMEONE WHO CAN MATCH HIS ENERGY WHILE BRINGING THE CALM, STRUCTURE, AND CLINICAL SKILLS OF AN ABA PROFESSIONAL.
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🦸♀️ THE MISSION: OPERATION HUMAN LIGHTNING BOLT ⚡
We're looking for a FUN, HIGH-ENERGY, PATIENT, AND CREATIVE BEHAVIOR TECHNICIAN (BT/RBT) to work one-on-one with an energetic 5-year-old boy!
If you love playing, moving, laughing, teaching, and turning everyday moments into exciting learning opportunities...
CONGRATULATIONS. THE ABA UNIVERSE HAS SELECTED YOU. 🫵💥
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🚨 REQUIRED SUPERPOWERS:
⚡ ENERGY OF A SQUIRREL THAT JUST DRANK 14 ESPRESSOS
Can you turn a simple activity into an adventure?
Can you make learning fun?
Can you enthusiastically celebrate a tiny victory like your team just won the SUPER BOWL?!
EXCELLENT. PROCEED TO THE NEXT LEVEL. 🏆😂
🧘 PATIENCE OF A 900-YEAR-OLD MONK
The child has energy.
You have emotional regulation.
This is what scientists call BALANCE. ☯️💀
🎪 THE PERSONALITY OF A PROFESSIONAL ENTERTAINER
Silly voices? ACCEPTED.
Creative games? ENCOURAGED.
Making learning feel like the greatest event since the invention of chicken nuggets?
YOU'RE HIRED IN OUR HEARTS ALREADY. 🍗😭
🧠 THE BRAIN OF AN ABA MASTER
Follow the treatment plan.
Collect accurate data.
Build communication and life skills.
Make meaningful progress.
BECAUSE WE'RE HERE TO CHANGE LIVES, NOT JUST BREAK THE SOUND BARRIER. 📊⚡
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💥 WHO SHOULD APPLY?!
✅ Behavior Technicians (BTs) and RBTs
✅ Energetic, playful, and enthusiastic individuals
✅ People who genuinely enjoy working with young children
✅ Reliable and compassionate professionals
✅ Creative thinkers with strong patience and communication skills
✅ Anyone whose natural personality is approximately 70% SUNSHINE, 20% COFFEE, AND 10% CONTROLLED CHAOS. ☀️☕🤣
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🚨🚨 THIS IS NOT A DRILL. THE CHILD HAS ENERGY. WE NEED TALENT. 🚨🚨
If your idea of a good workday involves:
🎮 Playing games
🏃 Staying active
🧩 Teaching new skills
🎉 Celebrating achievements
💙 Making a genuine difference in a child's life
THEN STOP SCROLLING, YOU BEAUTIFUL HUMAN ENERGY DRINK. 😭⚡
📲 APPLY TODAY!
Send your:
📄 Updated résumé
⏰ Availability
💰 Hourly pay expectations
🧠 ABA experience and credentials
📧 [email protected]
📞 929-287-0109
📍 REFERENCE: WEST BABYLON — 5-YEAR-OLD ENERGY LEGEND
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🔥 FINAL WARNING FROM THE DEPARTMENT OF EXTREMELY ENERGETIC CHILDREN: 🔥
IF YOU HAVE THE ENERGY OF THE FLASH, THE PATIENCE OF GANDHI, AND THE CREATIVITY OF WILLY WONKA...
WE HAVE FOUND YOUR DESTINY. 🦸♀️🍫⚡
🚨💀 APPLY BEFORE NASA RECRUITS THIS KID TO POWER THE NEXT SPACE SHUTTLE!!! 🚀🤣
⚡ THE ENERGY IS ENERGY-ING. THE ZOOMIES ARE ZOOMIE-ING. AND WEST BABYLON NEEDS A BT/RBT WHO CAN KEEP UP!!! ⚡🔥